It's a very difficult and complicated time for sure. At the same time, I have never felt closer to to Abba. For once in my life, instead of freaking out and running, I am pressing in. This world is ugly full of the results of sin on every level. He told us that, in this world we will have trouble, but to not be discouraged because he has overcome the world. He said that he would never leave us. Never forsake us. I feel his presence, every second of every day and night. It's like a warm blanket on a cold snowy day. It doesn't mean I don't hurt or that God is giving me some sort of "bail-out" to make it all go away. It DOES mean that he is right here with me. Going through the ugliness of this with me. If not for that, I would be ready for the nut house.
This is where the rubber meets the road, where Jesus is TRULY alive and living in us! His words are all true. They are like a full course meal to men who are truly starving from a steady diet of Twinkies. You don't get this stuff in plastic American religious land where you "name it and claim it" for self-serving purposes, or fall asleep in the pew on Sunday morning. You only get it in the house of pain, on your face, and in the place where you have come to the end of yourself. In the place where there is no hope on any plane except Christ and him crucified.
God spared Jesus no pain. He pleaded with Abba in the garden to let the cup pass if there could be another possible way. Why do we think it should be different for us? We want the shudders to go up and down our spine as we prophesy and speak in the tongues of men and Angels. But we don't want the pain that will drive us, like a nail, into the hand of Jesus. I'll take the pain, thank you. Right now I am richer than Solomon!
It's funny that you emailed this morning. I had a dream about you last night. You were sitting at cafe table in a big church facility. I walked up and sat down to chat. Brother George from Costa Rica came and sat down with us. The three of us began to discuss how we could serve God as a team. Then I woke up. Not sure what that means. If God is in it, I guess we will see!
Love you brother!